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  • Kayla Paradis

Rekindling Your Spark

No one is immune to the highs and lows of life, and we all have our hard days. This blog post is for the days that are even harder than that. The days when you feel lost, hopeless, numb and disconnected from everything and everyone. If you are going through this right now, even just reading this post may seem like work to get through. Sometimes the fog can get insanely thick.

This topic means a lot to me, because just like so many of us, I have been there. I try not to identify with my past, but at this time, I am being reminded to share that I have had days in my past where I felt like giving up completely.

I have some tricks that have really helped me on those dark days, and if you read this post and it resonates, please share it because I want it to reach those who truly need it. The best thing we can do in this world is support and inspire each other, and lead each other to healing. It's part of being human. We weren't born with our compassionate hearts and emotional souls without reason.

There are three easy steps to remember when you need to restart the fire in your heart:

#1) Gather your kindling

Remember all the people, places and things you can in your life that make you happy right now. Sometimes, when our mind is clouded with thick and heavy emotion, this can be a lot harder than it sounds. Even if you can only think of one thing, one person, one place that brings you a sliver of joy - bring it into your focus. Replay it over and over like a movie, as often as you need to. Try not to attach any thoughts or judgments to it. Only focus on how it makes you feel as you replay that reel over and over again. Try to keep this kindling thought as something in your present, as opposed to longing for things from your past. Do your best to feel a sense of gratitude.

Sometimes you can't find your kindling. Sometimes you literally can't even think of anything that makes you happy, or brings you joy. It's here where you need to recognize that you're in a process of rebuilding. Maybe it doesn't feel like that, but sometimes, we have to allow things to burn down to nothing so we can rise from the ashes. Remember this, and allow it to fuel you and you will prove to yourself, just how STRONG you truly are.

#2) Stoke the fire

Once you have the kindling in your mind; the things that support your happiness, your strength, your fire - it's time to set yourself up. This is the part of the process, where you use your mind and thoughts to help you get realigned and re-lit. Ask yourself what you need to feel supported and happy. Think of ways you can make this happen. Make a plan for yourself to do the things that don't seem like too much to commit to. Focus on the actions that you can do immediately or in the very near future.

Is there a friend or loved one you need to call for support? Is there a place you can go that will give you the escape and mental recharge you need? How can you serve your own happiness in this NOW moment?

Ensure it is NOT something that is self destructive or something that numbs your pain. Truly connect to what brings you genuine happiness.

#3) Light it up

This is the action part, and it takes the most will and focus but I know you can do it. You need to take one step towards your happiness, right now. Maybe it will feel super triumphant like lacing up your shoes and running faster than you ever have before. Or maybe it will be something simple like making your child laugh by tickling them. Or maybe it will be scary like trying something you've never done before. Or perhaps it's that one thing you do over and over that grounds you and brings you back to your center.

But whatever it looks like for you, this part of the process is the most important, and can not be skipped. You can see step one as the emotional aspect, step two as the mental, and step three as the physical. The physical action of DOING something to support your happiness will bring your momentum back to alignment with who you are truly meant to be.


Remember you are loved and cherished, and you are important out there for someone.

Hang in there, because I promise it will be worth it.


Below is the link for all crisis help lines in Canada, if anyone who reads this needs it. https://thelifelinecanada.ca/help/call/


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